I would say that I tried my best in my academic career, but not necessarily my hardest. Here’s why, and why I don’t regret it.
I tried my best when the contents we learn about are interesting or useful. And out of curiosity and my quirky nature, I always chose the most challenging and rigorous courses that fit my needs and reminded myself to adapt a mindset of seeking the goodness out of it.
But outside of school, I never really gave too much effort in academics.
I have never ever had a tutor in my life, elementary school to high, only the opposite. I have never ever gone to a prep school or took prep classes. Although they are eventually as lucrative as a high yield investment, it counters my integrity to study for the sake of scores. Nor have I ever stayed up 1 a.m. to cram for a project or a test, because I know that my body and health are the most valuable things I own.
And because I know that the time I spent outside of pursuing the scores is much more impactful, the other side of me just never want to give in to play the game. Thus, I will never win this game.
The game that is so narrow within itself. The game that values getting an “A” instead of learning. The game that focuses on developing crystallized intelligence. However, once the rule of the game becomes “change is the only constant”, perhaps I’ll win.
I am by no means disintegrating the profound impact it’s had in the past and presence, and I do value my education. But what I value more is learning and growing, every day for the rest of my life.
Proofread by Anna Johnson.